My big WHY


I woke up one day and felt like I couldn't handle it anymore. I was feeling completely lost. As if I was in some sort of black hole. I felt drained. I felt like I had nothing more to give to anyone, including myself. At that moment I felt I only had two options. Either down a bottle of vodka and get really really (but really) drunk OR go to church and pray. Luckily for me I went to church. I went to a beautiful tiny chapel in the centre of Amsterdam and there I found silence. And in the silence I felt that it wasn't over. I felt that there was something more. I felt the connection I had somehow lost. A connection to Me. The inner me. The intuition. The knowing Self. The soul, aligned with the Universe/Source/Energy/God (it's all One and the Same for me). From that day on I decided I would go on a journey to find Her again. I would reconnect myself to me. At some point in my life I had stepped outside myself. This separation was causing me so much pain. And now that I was aware of it, I could work towards reconnecting. 

I am so grateful for all the Teachers, guides and methods I have met and learned along my journey. And it’s not all just spirituality based. Things like improv and theater have helped me immensely in my healing process as well. And that’s what I love. I love bringing all of the methods and teachings I’ve been blessed to receive and combine them to bring you what you need in your journey. 

And the journey continues to be a journey. Every day it’s a process. But I know the pain from feeling disconnected with the Self and that is why I am committed to connecting every day. And that’s why I want to help you reconnect as well. 

May this corner of the internet help you on your journey. May the words, both written and spoken, the images, both moving and still, inspire your own journey towards reconnection. 

In love, 


I am an intuitive mentor and can help you in your journey. If you are interested in being mentored by me then click here to read more about that.

JourneyJoana Ponder